Men and one night stands

Ok for those of you that have a hard time about men and sex, heres the real answer.

Men dont only want sex. In fact its actually not the most important thing to us.

The media depicts men as heartless sex starved animals that only want to take what we want from women and dump them off at the side of the road.

While this may be true for some men, but even for most of them they do it because the woman at the time drove them to it, or some other woman in the past did.

The great thing about men that most women dont realize is that most of the things that we do is because of women.

They dont realize how awesome that truely is.

Of course the media depicts this as the reason they do it is not because of women, its because of sex.
While there is a direct correlation, its not the reason.
Men equate physical touch to feelings of intamacy, and feelings of affection. When women respond in this same way, men understand on a very deep biological level that the woman must like them.

There is the old saying treat people as you would want to be treated.
This is what men do.
So when you see a man and he approaches you by saying something that most women find appauling, dont get pissed.

Take this for example:
"Hey baby lets have sex!"
Pretty bad, YES?

Its not really, not from the deep understanding of what men truely are.

You see, men are very direct, and they really want to be.
They dont like beating around the bush.
Sure some are only after sex, and even most of those few dont really understand why they feel that sex is the answer.

It took me a while to realize this.
Mindless sexual gratification, no matter how great, just didnt compare to the deep feeling of intamacy that you can share with a member of the opposite sex.
Plus i immediately recognized the same kinds of feelings when it would be a one night stand or sex with someone i didnt know. The difference, i realized is this: one is a small spark, the other an atom bomb.

Many people try and fill a metaphorical hole in themselves.
They do it with sex, with drugs, with religion, etc.

Men have this same hole, the same desire to pair bond.
However its distinctly different than a womans.

Men are attracted to Replication and everything that goes with it.
"Health indicators" "Youth charachteristics" and Child rearing indicators.
Anything genetically benifical towards having offspring, men are attracted to.

Women are actually attracted to Survival
Things like "having other options- i.e. other women in the mans life"
"Having muscles" (providing protection)
Confidence (signs of leadership)
"Populatiry" (safety in numbers)
"Height" (feelings of dominance/power)


So when a man comes up to you and says "lets have sex" hes just trying to cutt through all the fluff and get what he wants.
Men have been taught all our lives to be productive and efficiant.
We want to produce offspring, and we want to be efficiant (i.e. fast)

One of the problems of course is that women have to be selective in their pair bonding.
Which is why they test men.
However, let me say this:
When you test someone (regarless of who) they usually fail.

Im not advocating getting rid of tests, what im saying is that your tests need to be BETTER

You cant expect most men to not make mistakes every once in a while.
Especially when men try new methods of social interactions all the time.

If your really attracted to someone, and they say something retarded be a bit more open minded.
Sure your attraction is gone, but sometimes it comes back, just give most guys room for error.

Imagine if men did this:
"if she says the word sweetie one time, im leaving."

Dont be caught up in mens desire to have one night stands either.
Most men actually prefer long term pair bonds, because it means easier access to sex.
Which is why men like booty calls also.

However, booty calls are something men settle for if they cannot emotionally connect with someone.
Most men dont even understand this themselves. Not to mention most men wont admit it.

Some men try and convince themselves that its somehow "manly" to hit it and quit it.
When we all know that its bull.
Plus most of this has to do with the media programming.


Just realize that while mens primary contributors for attraction is sex and looks; mens primary reason for pair bonding isnt.